Hey Kids,

It’s been a little while, so I decided to give everyone a little update.  Everything is going to hell in a motherfucking handbasket.  Yup, you heard that right.  Shit just got real, Yo!  I have recently been diagnosed with severe O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and am now on two types of medication to help my anxiety attacks.  But don’t think I’m one of those people you see on T.V. that has to check if the door is closed 50 times before they leave the house.  I have a type of functional O.C.D.  The kind that demands symmetry and order.  If anything, I’m just an extreme neatfreak, which in itself isn’t bad.  It’s just affecting me to the point where I am having really bad anxiety attacks.

So now, I have to take Lexapro and Xanax to help me maintain a sense of normality on a daily basis.  To be honest, the pills help and I’m glad I’m taking them.  I’ve spent years avoiding hospitals and medication for these things because I come from a background where I was taught that if there was anything wrong with you, you tough it out.  But it’s been affecting my family lately and you all know how I feel about my family.  I would do anything for them, and if it means I take medication and go to therapy, then so be it.

Other than that, I have other issues that I’m dealing with right now that is fucking me up pretty big.  It has nothing to do with my little medical disorders.  It has everything to do with the choices I’ve made over the past year.  It has affected me, and my family.  And it’s something that I’m spending a lot of time trying to deal with.  And as much as I try to rationalize, justify, and mitigate my feelings and thoughts.  It’s still makes absolutely no sense.  All I know is that I feel compelled to feel this way.  And I wish everyone would understand and just support me.  But I ask for too much understanding from those around me as is.  So I’m left to deal with it myself.  And to be honest, I don’t know how much longer I can keep dealing with it without succumbing to the insanity.

I know this sounds a bit extreme and morbid, but don’t feel bad.  Not for me, at least.  This is a test of my resolve, unlike anything I’ve ever had to go through.  And I’ve survived everything that this pithy life has given me.  I have my loved ones, and until they go away, I’ll still be here.  Even if it’s just a shadow of me, I’ll still be here.

Now enough of this bullshit late night (prescribed) drug and alcohol fueled rant.  As per usual, I’m going to leave y’all with a video.  It’s the song that I’ve been playing on repeat for the past few days until morning.  I know it’s all emo and shit.  But it keeps me from falling apart.  It’s Everything Changes by Staind.

P.S.
This blog isn’t about to turn all sad and emo on all of you.  This is just how I’m feeling right now.  What kind of blog would this be if I didn’t talk about my god damned feelings, yeah?  If y’all wanted to go to a 100% happy fun website, go HERE.  And after that, you can skip your ass through a field of sunflowers and talk to some fucking unicorns!  What?  I made a funny!  Be happy with it, because that’s all I got for the night.  Don’t worry, we will return you to your regularly scheduled profanity, pornography, and amusing insanity soon.

Night All!
Gunny

The Motorola Droid on the Verizon Network!  It is simply… AMAZING!

Alright, alright, STFU and let me explain.  So, over the past two years, the wife and I have had lowly clamshell phones.  This was a downgrade from my Palm Treo and Her Blackberry something or other (don’t mind me; I have the memory of a dead rock).  This downgrade was for financial purposes for the most part.  But also due to our progressive dislike of all the “Smartphones” on the Verizon Network.

We had considered switching to AT&T to get the iPhone, but as much as we wanted to (inadvertently) jump on the bandwagon.  We just couldn’t justify going back to a network that proved to be so… “crappy” (for lack of a better, more drawn out description).  Nothing against the iPhone, mind you, but we just didn’t want to lose network quality just because of a new shiny toy.  Remember, I’m crazy, not stupid.

Fast forward to 2010:

The Motorola Droid (along with other Android 2.0 phones) is released.  Now, I’ve kept up with the Motorola Droid for a tad bit of time.  I saw so many potentials, and a few flaws to this phone.  I liked the open development strategy that the Android operating system offered coupled with the technical specs of the phone itself.  Add that to Verizon’s Network, and I was sold.  I purchased my Motorola Droid the first week of January, and have not only been satisfied with it, but would happily perform sexual favors for it if it asked!

First thing, the Touch Screen; I know capacitive touch screen capability has been available for a while.  But the Droid (aside from the iPhone) is extremely easy to use and intuitive.  The virtual keyboard, both in landscape and portrait mode is easy to use and has a learning curve of minutes, if not seconds.

Second, Universal Contacts; Again, not a groundbreaking feature, but it’s awesome the fact that you can synch any and all contacts you have from Facebook, Google, and any other sources into one, comprehensive list.  Opening someone’s contact information, then being given the option to contact them through home phone, cell phone, text, all available e-mails, Facebook, websites, is awesome!  If they just added smoke signals… this phone might as well be made of chocolate and printed money and we’d have perfection in a box!

Thirdly, Open Development Applications; This is the only iPhone vs. Droid comment I will make in this blog.  Apple has long been the purveyor of the “We own EVERYTHING, so FUCK OFF” strategy when it comes to all their products.  The iPhone is not immune to this.  As it were, in order for any developer to create and release applications on an iPhone, it must meet strict guidelines, then be submitted to Apple for approval.  At which point, it will be added to the iPhone’s Appstore to be downloaded for free or a small charge.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with this practice.  But it doesn’t exactly promote an open environment for blatant creativity or freedom.  And this is where the Android Appstore comes in on top.  They have no strict guidelines or application process.  Just grab their API, and go.  In the long run, it is more a preference than an actual advantage.  But I’m from the freedom of development camp, so this is definitely a plus to me.

(BTW, I have an app called “Goggles” that will scan any picture you take, and then do a Google search on anything in the picture it recognizes.  Now if that’s not impressive, you’re either on drugs, or brain dead.  In either case, have fun with running AOL on your Windows 3.1 machine, you fucking caveman! <3)

Fourth (and final point because I don’t want this review to be longer than a porn star on Viagra); Google applications!  Google Maps based on GPS, Google Voice, Google Voice Recognition, and finally, the onboard turn by turn voice navigation system!  I could go to a Best Buy right now and spend $200-$500 on a cell phone, then turn around and spend $100-$300 on a Navigation device.  But with the DROID, it’s included!  Holy Shitballs, I’ve got an erection the size of the Washington Monument just thinking about it!

But enough about me creaming all over this phone and all the goodies it gives.  Here are some of the bad sides.  The physical keyboard is useless.  That and my initial DROID had a problem with its touch screen shorting out, so I had it replaced.  And, well…  That’s really about it.  Every other problem can be fixed over time through updates to the software, or is so miniscule that it’s not worth mentioning.

All in all, this is an awesome phone.  Again, this is not an iPhone vs. DROID comparison blog, so I’m not going to go into that.  iPhones have some awesome features and advantages, and so does DROID.  The only deal breaker I see with the iPhone is AT&T.  Now, don’t anybody argue about this with me, because I’ll go from objective reviewer, to raving mad fanboy faster than Steve Jobs can change into his turtleneck and jeans!  AT&T sucks sweaty mongoose undertits, and we’ll leave it at that.

And in the end… The Motorola Droid IS the TITS (see what I did there?)!  And if you’re in the market for a new phone, especially if you’re already under Verizon, I suggest you get it or any other Android phones available.  Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.  And if you are, serves you right for listening to some jackass on the internet.

What?  I never told you fuckers to listen to me, did I?

And now, a video extravaganza!

Hey Kids!

“Today, we’ll talk about what you want to be when you grow up.  Gungix, what do YOU want to be when you grow up?”

“I want to make video games! And have lots of girlfriends!”

Well, I guess one of those things came true.  And as I look at the “Industry” as a whole lately, I’m disappointed more and more at what I see.  Let me give you all some background.

*Engage Flashback Mode*

15 years ago, when I started in the Video Game Industry, I was a lowly 18 year old Video Game Tester from SEGA.  You know how a lot of people think that Video Game Testers are nothing but a bunch of kids playing video games and being paid for it?  Well, at least at that time, that was exactly what it was!

It was the Wild West of video game testing.  Where you would walk into the office and not be surprised if someone starts shooting you with Nerf guns!  Where you would sit at your desk, eat candy bars and Twinkies all day, drink Coke like there was no tomorrow, and smoke a pack of cigarettes before the day was done.

This was a time where you can walk into any manager’s office and see a long haired, unshaven, red-eyed, slob of a man playing the latest imported Final Fantasy game from Japan while listening to Metallica.  Where we would work for 3 days straight all the while, taking 30 minute naps under our desk before the next game build would come in.  Where you could be a college dropout and still be a producer just as long as you knew how to type and actually survived being a game tester for more than a year.  Where EVERYONE you were involved with, whether it be the lowliest grunt Game Tester, to the Vice President of the company played and loved video games.  And guess what?  The video games of that time were awesome!

Of course technology has gone well beyond those days when it comes to graphics, game mechanics, and overall production.  But the storytelling, the originality, the overall feel of the games of that time conveyed the developer’s love for video games.

Those were the days I tells you.  Those were the days.  *sigh*

*Flashback Mode Disengaged*

Now, let’s take a look the current state of the Video Game Industry.  I am still a Video Game Tester, but of course of a much higher position and I now have many specializations under my belt.  I still get to sit down with the games and get to see them.  But most of the time, I’m checking programming standards and reviewing submission documentation.  I spend most of my time creating procedures and systems to streamline this machine called Video Game Testing.  And it’s a more adult endeavor I suppose, for more adult times.

Now, you walk into your office and go to your desk.  Turn on your PC and check your e-mails.  Go to the break room for your complimentary bagels and then sit down preparing for the long 8 hour day ahead of you entering and managing bugs into your custom database.  Where you have strict deadlines and have quotas that you are required to hit in order to get a good review for this quarter’s upcoming raise.  You have just enough time in your 15 minute breaks to smoke two cigarettes while you sit there and listen to the guy across from you dissect “Paranormal Activity” and how he thinks it’s the horror movie of the decade.

This is where you walk into your manager’s office and it’s a grey haired veteran of the Video Game Industry sitting in front of his PC, typing frantically to make the deadline for his budget report.

And guess what? TESTERS ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT PLAY VIDEO GAMES!

I now work in an industry where in order to be hired as a Producer (or any form of management for that matter), you need a college degree focusing on business management.  Where your programmers are a bunch of “Professionals” who could care less what you think because you didn’t go to some fancy school to be an “Engineer” and now makes six figures a year so that you can drive a BMW and show off to all the high school bullies that used to give you swirlies in the boy’s room.

What’s worse?  You now have Lead Video Game Testers who WERE those bullies in high school.  The ones that called you a nerd because you liked to watch Anime and Play the latest version of Super Mario Brothers on your Nintendo Gameboy.  The ones that thought they were too cool because of the clothes they wore, the cars they drove, and the girls they screwed.  The ones that go home, turn on the TV to watch “The Game”, and read their latest copy of “How to intimidate the Nerd at Work” magazine.

AND THE VIDEO GAME INDUSTRY WONDERS WHY WE ARE IN A SLUMP WHEN IT COMES TO CONTENT?

Now, mind you, there are a lot of good game companies out there developing and producing games.  There is still a plethora of good gaming to go around.  But I can almost guarantee you that the people involved with making said games are… guess what?  Video game players.

You can probably sense my sadness regarding this subject.  And it’s only because I love this industry.  I love what I do.  I have dreamt of this since I was 8 years old.  And I’m finally here.  But here is not what I pictured it to be.

So, as an open letter to the Video Game Industry, I submit this:

Dear Video Game Industry,

I have missed you.  It’s been so long since we’ve played any really good video games together.  I remember back in the day when we would sneak out of the office and smoke pot at the park down the street.  I remember when we would play 18 hours of Virtua Fighter on the SEGA Saturn and loved it.  I remember all our old friends who were just like us.  Chain smoking, perverted, Anime loving, weed toking, comic book reading, Star Wars junkies.

Whatever happened to those times?  How come we can’t hang out any more?  Is it because you are fancy now with your MBAs and your weird obsession with European Cars and having a haircut like Ryan Seacrest?  Well, I don’t care if you’ve grown up some.  I still love you and if you still love video games, I’m always here.  I’ll wait forever if you want, but hopefully soon, we can sit down with a couple of controllers, a two liter of Coke, some pork rinds, and a pack of cigarettes.

Your Friend,

Gungix

And now… Grandma’s Boy!